I read the book on a whim. I was
intrigued by the title which just proves how much of an unusually-lousy reader
I am. Coincidentally, I was nursing a delusionally-broken heart at that time. I
resorted to reading again, which I now learned is a way of coping from the
harsh realities of my totally-unrelated fangirling life.
So here comes the book, freshly-bound and
since I was supposedly-depressed, I jumped with joy when I found the book at
the bookstore. And never blinking twice about the Php 600++ price tag.
I did not expect that the book is
cancer-related at all. When I read the first few lines, I predicted that it was
gonna be boring. (And worse, in the first few pages, physical descriptions of
the characters were revealed. Waaaahh! Even in reading a book you are haunting
me. Waaaaa!) Please forgive my random spazzing.
Really, I did not expect that the book
was cancer-related. This is a sensitive topic for me because cancer runs in our
family. I definitely can relate to the medical terms and procedures that were
talked about in the book. I knew the ins and outs of cancer, even if I am not a
patient myself.
And reading about Hazel and Gus’ life
going through it all, I couldn’t even imagine myself in their shoes. Maybe I
would have coped differently.
An important thing imparted in the book
was about Gus’ fear of oblivion. Since my family’s cancer history, I was /am
also worrying about the same thing. When I die, do I just go away, disappear,
cease to exist. How will I and how do I make my stay as a conscious sentient
being asmeaningful and as beneficial to others.
But then, Van Houten/Hazel’s answers
struck me. Because it is true. Because all I have to think of is the now.
There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will also be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away. But even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.
There was time before consciousness and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human connection worries you, I encourage you to ignore it.God Knows what’ everyone else does.