The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I read the book on a whim. I was intrigued by the title which just proves how much of an unusually-lousy reader I am. Coincidentally, I was nursing a delusionally-broken heart at that time. I resorted to reading again, which I now learned is a way of coping from the harsh realities of my totally-unrelated fangirling life.

So here comes the book, freshly-bound and since I was supposedly-depressed, I jumped with joy when I found the book at the bookstore. And never blinking twice about the Php 600++ price tag.

I did not expect that the book is cancer-related at all. When I read the first few lines, I predicted that it was gonna be boring. (And worse, in the first few pages, physical descriptions of the characters were revealed. Waaaahh! Even in reading a book you are haunting me. Waaaaa!) Please forgive my random spazzing.

Really, I did not expect that the book was cancer-related. This is a sensitive topic for me because cancer runs in our family. I definitely can relate to the medical terms and procedures that were talked about in the book. I knew the ins and outs of cancer, even if I am not a patient myself.

And reading about Hazel and Gus’ life going through it all, I couldn’t even imagine myself in their shoes. Maybe I would have coped differently.

An important thing imparted in the book was about Gus’ fear of oblivion. Since my family’s cancer history, I was /am also worrying about the same thing. When I die, do I just go away, disappear, cease to exist. How will I and how do I make my stay as a conscious sentient being asmeaningful and as beneficial to others.

But then, Van Houten/Hazel’s answers struck me. Because it is true. Because all I have to think of is the now.

There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will also be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away. But even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.

There was time before consciousness and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human connection worries you, I encourage you to ignore it.God Knows what’ everyone else does.

Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins Book Review

Spoilers Ahead ;')

i wrote this aeons ago. there must've been typos and erroneous grammar, i didnt re-check. :-/

I have always loved books that brought me to a new world. A world I’d rather live in. A world I could exist and would rather wish I was born there instead.

My first impression of the Hunger Games, the first book, was that it was going to be boring. I felt District 12 was boring and it really was. The districts of Panem were in a depressing state. The Hunger Games, despite brutal and violent is somehow a good way to go before you die. You will feel the luxury of a blessed life. You will eat.

What kept me reading was the love affair. From the time Peeta confessed his love to Katniss, I knew he was telling what was really in his heart. I just didn’t understand his reaction on the last part of book one. When I rethink about it, I know perhaps Katniss was the one who did not understand herself. Perhaps I am having a Katniss crossover at that time.

I adore Cinna and his creations.  They’re just amazing.

I am excited for the third book. I feel Gale will die, and if he won’t, Katniss will not choose him. I just wish Panem will be a much better place when the book ends.


***

Yes, I have read the third book. Gale did not die but I wish him dead. That would have been more honourable for him. I know it is wrong to wish for someone to die. Sorry, I take it back.

I know that I have written earlier that it was the love affair that kept me wanting to read the story. It was true. Now that I have read the entire series and have been thinking through the book, I feel that what hooked me to the books was the fact that Panem is where our civilization is going. And somehow, when I tell myself that I am/was hooked to the love story, I suddenly feel that I am like a Capitol citizen. Someone who loves being entertained, watching TV shows, movies, etc. Someone who would believe and “feel” that it is the real thing going on there in the TV screen.

I feel bad about that. Maybe that is why I first felt the book was boring. The districts of Panem were in turmoil. War has plagued them and they are trying to live a life that would avoid the war that they’ve been through.  So the districts agree and Capitol is sort of like their punisher. Capitol people host the Hunger Games. Capitol people do not realize that real lives are destroyed in a game which to them was entertainment.

District 13 may have been wanted to break away from that civilization and create a new world where everybody was equal, happy, and living sustainably. But, it was always the people who govern and lead that have some other agenda. President Coin clearly would have wanted the rest of Panem to stay in the miserable, poverty-stricken, hunger-filled state they were in as long as she was leading the country. As long as she has power. Doesn’t this situation sound so familiar?

Even in an imaginary future where Panem exists, the problem that they face is still as identical as what we have now. Poverty, hunger, inequality, reality TV shows, indifference, war, rebellion, a rallying point, loveteams. I was side-tracked by the loveteam, the star-crossed lovers, the rebels in the story who keep spouting these dreamy lines. In as distant time in the future where Panem exists, surely the same theme in TV shows would have made us puke and change the channel. But yeah, it is always interesting every time. Every time we believe that it is true. I know I did doubt Peeta in the beginning. But after one or two pages, I knew it was true. But in the real world, the real entertainment world, you’d be a Capitol citizen to believe it. 

Scribbles on Marcia Ford's A Conversation With God for Women

If I could ask God any question, What would it be?

This question got me. I'm in a point in my life right now where I tend to ask so many questions about life, the little things, almost anything, even about God. This is why I choose this book. I was hoping to have some things answered, cleared up, or even to just to pacify my ever questioning brain.

Conversations with God for Women highlights 50 questions that are mostly asked or wondered about by women, and maybe men too. Some questions are vague, or philosophical in nature, some are just too simple, you think to yourself that..'yeah, I wonder what's the answer to this.'

The book features questions like, If You love us, why do we suffer?, Do You really forgive and forget?, Do You hear everybody's prayers? Do we need to go to church? and so many more. The book is written indeed in conversation-style. Really like a Q&A portion. And we get two point of views, from God and Jesus. Biblical references are made everywhere in the book but they did not overwhelm me.

Being a teenager, I thought I could not ask these questions because asking meant and somehow implied that I do not trust God and that a believer should never question.

I know that sounds primitive, absurd, and like blindly following someone. I had that feeling, coupled with the things that is going in my mind, it was all a mess. I never read the bible as diligently as I should. There were things that I have missed, realizations and teachings that I should have known to make me stronger and maybe saner.

I first scanned through the book, taking that first smell [something only bookworms do :-)], and slowly as if every answer to my questions make sense. I found it calming and I sort of felt worry-free. As if someone is listening. As if now I know it was all for the better. That it's all gonna be better.

In line with the things that has recently occurred in my life, I really wanted to ask: "God, we all know Christians who suffer with terminal illness  or from overwhelming loss and tragic events in their lives. That seems so unfair; they often lived lives of total dedication to You; and they ended up in horrible situations. Why do Your followers have to suffer?"

Thank you, Marcia Ford, for making it simpler for me to understand it all.






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